Upsided Down Trees...

Well, as an update, things are going pretty well in life in general.  I feel much more grounded in my relationship with God than I think I ever have, which is wonderful.  My little "eating right" campaign is going well, and I've lost ten pounds to prove it!  So exciting!  Now if I could just convince myself to get up and exercise...  :-)  Ah well, one thing at a time.

Practicing is going ok.  I'm discovering that I actually hear all of my notes out of tune, which means I play them out of tune.  Must come from playing on a piano that needs tuning or something...  Or, more likely, it just means I'm a little out of whack! 

I'm writing this to process some thoughts from a devotional I had today.  The author was talking about a conversation she had with her daughter where she drew a tree as an illustration.  The tree had fruit, which represented "giftings", as she called it.  The tree also had roots which represented "virtues."  She was using the tree as a point, showing her daughter what happens when you are not grounded in virtues (which she listed as things like love, joy, peace, etc.).  If you focus too much on the fruit, and not enough on the roots, then the tree will fall over.

I had a bit of a picture put into my head with that.  The tree in this illustration represents a life.  The fruits/giftings represented to me "what I can do."  The roots/virtues were "what God channels through me."  If you think about it, it all makes sense.  What God channels through you creates different types of thoughts, words, and actions. 

My thought is, are we too focused on what we do, and not what God is trying to channel through us?

I realized that I had things backwards.

I thought (subconsciously) that what I did, and how well I did it, would affect what God chose to feed into me.  I thought that my fruits were my roots!  What a crazy upside down tree I have been!  When I realized that, I asked God to remind me that His world doesn't revolve around me, but mine should be around Him.  What I do doesn't affect what He does, but what He sends through me is the only thing that can change my life and my heart.

Then, in my little meditation (which took place in a practice room in the Morrison Center at BSU, btw!!!) I thought about all the spiritual gifts surveys I've taken over the years, and I began to think about them.  Are we too concerned about what our fruit is, what we can do and what happens when God flows something through us?  Are we too concerned about results?

Or, should we be more focused on what is going into our lives?  I've always heard it said that what goes in will come out...  Don't you think that, if we're allowing God to flow through us and fill us with His good things (whichever ones He may choose, not just the ones we want), and if we consciously choose the things of God to fill our lives, isn't that going to be most of what comes out of us?  Of course, we are human "trees" so things will occasionally come out in a way they probably shouldn't, but wouldn't you think that it's a safe bet that the more God you have, the less of yourself will exist?

Not that it's not good to understand what your natural callings are, but should we be analyzing ourselves constantly, or should we allow God to speak through other people into our lives and allow them to recognize what we may be gifted at?  Wouldn't you say that constantly looking at yourself and what you're "doing for God" is a form of self-worship?

I don't think God is as results oriented as we make Him out to be.

In fact

I'm leaning towards the idea that He's really not at all.

I think that our lives will be judged by the way we allowed Him to live through us while on earth.  I think the way we lived will be evaluated by the means we used to get our "ends."  People say that the ends justify the means, and I don't think that's true at all.  I think the means need to be in line with God's will, or the end result doesn't count because it will be all because of us.  When the means are in line with God's will, which is impossible for us to accomplish without Him, then the ends will be because of HIS work through us.

I worry that too many people are wrapped up in spiritual gifts, about what is coming out of them, and not simply watching what they are putting into themselves.

God, please save the upside down trees of this world, as You have saved me.