As we watched, we came to a part which was one I could always relate to. Those of you who are familiar with the series will recall the part in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader where Eustace is turned into a dragon. Later, he is turned back into a boy. Eustace, to me, epitomizes my life in that I always have to bumble along and then fall into something bad to learn the hard way. The movie changed the plot line a little. In the book, Eustace is a dragon for maybe a few days. In the movie, it's unclear how long he is a dragon, but instead of being transformed into a boy while they are still on the island where he changed originally, he travels with them as a dragon. I know this seems like useless information, but bear with me. :-)
Reepicheep, the mouse, takes a particular interest in Eustace at this point. They had antagonized each other the whole time, but Reep takes it upon himself to stay with Eustace through this trying time. Eustace decides to make himself useful to the Dawn Treader and the crew by pulling the ship along when there is no wind, and in the book he carries heavy things (like a new mast) for them to help out. At the climax of the movie, the crew has to sail the ship to the dark island to break an evil spell and save Narnia. Reep is riding on Eustace's head as they fly toward the island. Eustace gets scared and tries to turn away, but Reep won't let him. He talked about having courage. How Eustace has no need to be afraid because of his iron scales and fire breathing and such.
And then the Holy Spirit said something:
"Aslan made him a dragon for a reason, you know."
Wait, what?
Now, I am someone who kinda hates it when people stretch things to draw a spiritual conclusion from them. Do I believe that God can speak to anyone through any situation? Yes. But I really do think there are times when people take things way too far and make themselves a mountain out of a mole hill.
I wasn't looking for some great spiritual truth. I was watching a movie.
Those of you who have a good connection with God will understand what I mean when I say that there are just those moments when something is said specifically for you. When that line in a movie was written, or that person did something, and God just uses it to say something to you.
Up until this point, I viewed this part of the story as I stated above: Eustace learning the hard way. But, my question is, at least in the movie, could it have been the other way around? Reepicheep is a mouse. Granted, larger than your average household mouse, but a mouse regardless. And yet, Reep was known for his incredible courage and valor. Here he was, riding a dragon to battle, and the dragon wanted to run! The mouse had to give the dragon a lesson in courage! How odd! Eustace had it easy! Dragons are magical creatures with incredible strength, nearly invincible hides, fire breath, and so many more abilities which have been attributed to them. He was protected, completely safe, having everything he could need to survive in the harshest of circumstances.
It should have been easy for him to have courage.
This was his easy time. He was protected and strong for a reason. Aslan had given him this time of protection in order for Eustace to reach out and have no fear of the repercussions. He could fight and not be afraid, because he was invincible.
"Yes he was, Joanna. And so are you. I made you a dragon for a reason."
Hahah, right, God. I'm no dragon. I'm just ordinary, not even all that remarkable. I'm a woman who still is learning just what the meaning of the word woman is...
"I know, that's why I am protecting you. Take courage and reach out. You are safe, nothing can harm you, dear heart."
I have everything I need to make it through the harshest of times: a family and friends for support, clothes to stay warm, a roof over my head, and a Savior to guard my heart and soul and mind. I have often stated, and fully believe, that I am invincible on this earth until my purpose has been fulfilled. Why don't I act like it?
I am a dragon. I have been given this time when I am completely protected in order to give me the chance to be courageous and without fear. I have been given the chance to fight in this spiritual war which wages all around. I am tasked with fighting for peoples' souls. I was made dang feisty and protective for a reason! These aren't bad things, they are tools to be used for my King's purposes. I am to fight for His kingdom. If I am to be of any use to Him, I cannot simply wait around for battles to come to me. I somehow just know that I am supposed to be leading a charge into the thick of battle. I am to ride straight to the heart of the enemy's power and stab it.
As I drove home, I was mulling this over. I heard the rest of the movie, but it didn't strike me with the same potency as the words the Holy Spirit spoke to me. It seems that movies are the best way for God to speak to me, at least tonight, because another movie line came into my head and heart:
"You can settle for a less than ordinary life..."
He would let me choose to not lead a charge into battle. I could simply say no, and He would love me no less than if I had said yes. There are some decisions in life that are simply up to you. There are those which require very little faith on your part, those that need a medium amount, and those which require taking a dive off the side of a cliff acting purely on faith. Each has their rewards and their difficulties. I'm not sure if this is one of them, but it could be. Right now, I feel like I'm living somewhere between the lower and middle areas of faith, changing back and forth each day. I know God is asking more of me, I feel it with every fiber of my being. I know that I could enjoy the blessings that come with staying where I am: stability, comfort, complete provision. I think the downside of this would knowing I could have had so much more. Knowing that there was some greater purpose I was asked to fulfill, with greater blessings which would have lasted for eternity, and that I turned it down because I wanted something more immediate. I'm not sure I could live with myself, having that nagging doubt in my mind. I want to fulfill the complete purpose that God has for me on this earth. I want everything He has for me, both the bitter and the sweet. I want to go to bed each night knowing that I have done all I could that day, simply for the love of my Lord and King.
What I would love is if those who read this would pray for me. I've watched people lead charges, and have led some small ones myself, and I don't really want to be in the forefront of all this. There are reasons I don't lead charges. I have been burned and hurt and scarred. Leading a charge is a lonely thing in the best of times. In the worst, I can't even imagine. I've not had to deal very much with that. I know, however, that whatever it is, once I start chasing, things will get worse. There is a personal enemy of mine in the this world who will not want those people saved. Pray for courage. Pray for encouragement. Most of all, pray for me in my fears of isolation. If there's one fear I have, it's of being truly alone. I cannot stand the idea of not having someone, pretty much anyone, with me. I can't stand the idea of having to stand alone, perhaps facing all those I care about on the opposite side of things. Pray for knowledge that God is always with me. I know that I tend to make a lot of grand statements, and I feel like my life never changes in the big ways I thought it would. But, perhaps, that's how my mind works with God's purposes. I change, little by little, in ways I don't even realize. This way, I can't take credit for my own actions. :-) But please, don't lose faith in what God can do in me, and in you.
I was made a dragon for a reason.
I think it's time to find out why.
You coming? :-)
